don't go
by saralover
Summary: sara struggles with her addiction michael can't watch her destroy herself please review
1. haunted

Michael Scofield had been sitting on the couch in his livingroom for hours he noticed his girlfriend,  
had been acting strange for the past two weeks but he'd tried to give her space giving her the chance to come to him but today he decided he was gonna get her to talk to him no matter what but she wasn't home. It was past midnight and she still wasn't home finally she walked through the door soaking wet from the rain, shivering from the cold her eyes were empty he got up out of his seat and took her by the arms and shook her looking into her hazel eyes that refused to look at him "Sara! Where were you"  
she shrugged "I went for a walk"  
"It's 3 AM Sara"  
tears welled up in her eyes at his words "I got lost"  
even though he didn't believe, her his grip on her arms softened,  
and he lifted one hand to stroke her cheek "please just talk to me"  
She turned away from him and hugged herself he placed his hands on her slender waist and turned her back around to face him he saw so much pain in her face he pulled her close, just holding her "Baby, It's okay.  
You just scared me okay"  
"I'm sorry, i'm so sorry" 


	2. it just hurts too much

---- The next day -  
When Michael gets home from work he sees Sara sitting on the couch a pillow clutched tightly to her chest she looked so frail in grey sweatpants a light blue t-shirt, her beautiful eyes focused on a spot on the wall "You're home"  
he spoke softly not wanting to startle her as she didn't seem to have noticed his presence "hi"  
he took off his leather jacket and kneeled down in front of her in dark denims and a dark green sweater "did you eat yet?" he said stroking her cheek with the back of his hand she shook her head "I'm not hungry"  
she closed her eyes for a second trying to force out the craving for another fix "Are you okay"  
she let out a bitter laugh "No"  
she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck burying her face in the crook of his neck he put his arms around her waist "Don't go.. please" her voice is small and broken begging him "I'm not going anywhere"  
he gathers her up in his arms and carries her into their bedroom where he lays her down on the bed before lying next to her he intertwines her slender fingers with his own she closes her eyes at his touch letting it fill her mind he speaks softly "How long have you been.. eh.. using again"  
she hesitates for a moment than breathes in and out deeply and answers truthfully "six days. How'd you know"  
he brushes his thumb along her knuckles "You think I don't know you"  
"Why didn't you say something"  
"I guess I was just hoping that I was wrong.  
Why didn't you tell me"  
"I was hoping it would go away I was scared"  
tears welled up in her sad hazel orbs and she made no attempt to stop them from pouring down her cheeks "You made it pretty clear last time that you weren't sticking around if I started using again"

flashback  
they'd been dating for two months when michael found her in the bathroom plunging a syringe into her arm he had left the room and waited for her she didn't come out for another 3 hours and he made no attempt to get her out sooner she sat down on her bed "What's going on Sara"  
"What do you mean?" she asked playing dumb when the morphine wore off and she became light headed she let her head fall back into the pillows he saw her eyeing her purse "You need more"  
"What"  
"You know exactly what I mean"  
he grabbed her purse she flew off the bed and reached for it but he held it out of her reach "You don't need to be doing this Sara What are you? A junkie"  
"How dare you say that to me!  
YOU have NO IDEA what you're talking about you don't even know me"  
"You say that, but I don't believe it and neither do you"  
"Just give me the GOD DAMN bottles and leave"  
"when did this start"  
"give it to me"  
"what the hell is wrong with you"  
"give me the FUCKING drugs michael"  
when he made no attempt to move she struck his face he put his hand to his face where she had hit him only seconds before "i'm sorry" her eyes started to water "i'm so sorry"  
she backed herself into the wall tears now streaming down her face in despair he walked up to her but she turned to face the wall before he reached her he put his hands on her shoulders "sara let me help you tell me how I can help you.. please"  
"you can't. this is my problem"  
he turned her around brushing her hair out of her face "I can if you let me"  
she looked up at him "how"  
"I could stay with you help you through the withdrawal"  
"No. I.. I can't"  
"why not"  
"because.. I..I don't know if i'm strong enough.. to do this again"  
"I know, but you can do this. you are strong enough and i'll be here to remind you of that"  
flashback

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough"  
"I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to,  
why are you doing this to yourself again?" "It just hurts too much and i'm sorry I couldn't be who you want me to be"  
she gets up and walks to the bathroom "where are you going"  
"I can't watch you leave"  
"I'm not leaving you,  
I wanna help you"  
"You can't" "I love you"  
he frames her beautiful face with his hands "I love you Sara" 


	3. prefilles and fixes

-- The next morning -  
Sara watches Michael get ready for work from here position on their bed she tries to shut out the voice in her head screaming "Morphine"  
as he fixes his tie he turns to her "Are you sure you're gonna be okay for the day?  
I mean I can just call in sick for work You're more important, I'd be happy to just stay with you"  
she gives him a reassuring smile, the best one she can force out "I'll be fine, There's a meeting about two blocks from here in an hour and I can call my sponsor"  
see she's not lying there really is a meeting she's not telling him she'll go and she could call her sponsor, if she felt any urge to "I'd really feel much better knowing you were at work, than worrying about me all day"  
"I'll still worry"  
she walks up to him and strokes his cheek with her palm "I know"  
she softly presses her lips to his "will you be here when I get home"  
she musters up her fake smile again "where else would I be?  
Now go, you're going to be late"  
"If you need anything"  
"I'll be fine"  
he gives her a final smile before he leaves the house it's clear to her that he doesn't completely trust the situation but she can't focus on anything but the craving for a fix right now she goes into the bathroom, she peales a pre- filled syringe taped to the back of the toilet.  
she closes her eyes both in anticipation and shame she rolls up the pant leg of her pajama bottoms straps a plastic tourniquet around her ankle and plunges the needle into the skin between her toes she closes her eyes again when she feels the poison coursing through her when she grips exactly what she's doing, a tear slips down her cheek when she gathers herself she gets up walks back into the bathroom and gets dressed jeans and a brown t-shirt covered up by a long sleeved light blue sweater she brushes her long auburn hair and puts on her corduroy brown jacket slips the key to their apartment in her jeans pocket and shuts the front door behind her. 


	4. midnight calling

flashback  
He held her arm in a firm grasp "Why did you lie to me"  
"Because I wish it were true, I wish going to a meeting would be enough but it's not, It's never enough There's only one thing that can dull the pain I feel inside !" her yelling turned into a whisper as she continued "Just let me go Michael This is what I need to do, I'm leaving, I won't come back Don't try to find me, you're better off without me, we both know it"  
He pulled her tiny framy into his own "I'm sorry I couldn't be enough"  
"I love you"  
He pressed his lips against hers in a desperate kiss "I have to go"  
As she had her hand on the doorknob his voice stopped her "Why are you doing this"  
"Because I'm tired of hurting you"  
Like that she walked out of his life flashback

It was 3.00 AM when the sound of his cell phone vibrating on his night stand woke him from his uneasy slumber "Hello"  
"Michael"  
Her voice was a desperate whisper "Sara"  
"Please"  
He felt the urge to save her from her distress rise up in his soul "Where are you"  
"Outside, It's dark, I can hear a train"  
He hadn't seen her in weeks she could be anywhere by now "Are you still in Chicago"  
"Yeah, Not far from home"  
"Where's home"  
"Where you are Please Michael, I need you"  
Her voice was cracking He knew she had to be desperate to call him, and sara was not one to panic easily "I'll find you"

He found her laying on a sidewalk, a few blocks from the train station,  
A blue shirt and an unbuttoned thin black leather jacket, hugging her denim covered knees to her chest The cold Chicago wind was merciless as she was shaking, Her eyes shut tight Her skin was pale, a bruise covering her left cheek He crouched down next to her, taking her small cold hand in his larger warm one rubbing her knuckles with the pad of his thumb Her eyes opened and tears appeared "Michael"  
He pulled her to sit up and she wrapped her arms around his torso so tight he thought his ribs would crack he scrunched her hair with one hand while rubbing her back with the other "I'm here baby, I'm here"  
She sobbed into his chest "I'm sorry, I'm sorry"  
He framed her face with his hands and planted a kiss on her forehead "Let's get out of here okay"  
"Can you walk"  
He pulled her to her feet "Yeah, I think so"  
He held onto her waist, for safety

Once they made it inside his car She sat there in silence with her eyes closed "Are you okay"  
"No"  
"Physically"  
"I'm a junkie, We're not expected to be healthy"  
"Do you need to see a doctor"  
"No"  
Her sharp voice took a more sincere tone "I'm sorry I called you in the middle of the night But I didn't know who else to call"  
"Don't worry about it,  
I'm glad you called me, I was worried about you"  
She opened the cardoor, got out and walked away He followed her, and stopped her by taking hold of her arm A tear slipped down her bruised cheek He pulled her into him, wiping her tears from her cheeks as they kept on flowing "What happened? Why did you call me? You sounded pretty bad"  
Her jaw was set as she tried to free her self from his strong arms "I'll be fine"  
"But you're not now, And you weren't when you called me"  
Her tears were trailing uncontrollable paths down her cheeks "Please don't"  
He pulled her closer, not allowing an inch between their bodies She buried her face into the soft skin of his neck "It's okay, You're safe"  
Her body shook with sobs, as he held on to her He lifted her off her feet and carried her back to the car She wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of her light blue shirt And turned on the radio They both sat there in silence listening to the song:

"She doesn't look, she doesn't see Opens up for nobody Figures out, she figures out Narrow line, she can't decide Everything short of suicide Never hurts, nearly works

Something is scratching its way out Something you want to forget about"  
She was the first to break the silence "I left, I ruined my life, Our life Why are you still taking care of me"  
He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear "Because I love you"  
"How can you say that"  
"How could I not"  
He tilted her head so she'd look at him, but her eyes were stuck to the floor "Look at me"  
"I.. I can't"  
She gathered her strength "I should just go"  
Her hand was once again on the door handle But he stopped her, by taking her hand in his "Where are you going"  
"I don't know okay"  
She cried out "Where have you been staying"  
She whispered "Nowhere"  
"Sara, stay with me"  
"I can't"  
"Yes you can, Let me take care of you" 


End file.
